It had been almost a year since we had taken four boys into our home. We had visited with their birth mother once or twice a month. After all the visits, only one of the boys even knew who she was. She had never been their caretaker.
Texas law mandates that these matters be concluded in twelve months. With the prospect of a nasty trial over parental rights looming, the birth mother had signed a relinquishment of her rights. It was now time for what the adoption community calls the good-bye visit. It was scheduled for two hours at the state offices where we had taken the family visits.
Nancy and I were more than a little nervous about this meeting. Sometimes Lola showed up under the influence and said and did unusual things. Invariably, this caused problems for a few days with the boys. We did not like confrontations with her and that was certainly possible on this day.
As we neared the meeting place, we became more and more nervous. An amazing thing then happened. Walter, who was then five and a half, said, “Why don’t I pray for Lola and this meeting.”
A child had sensed the situation and what the adults should be doing and stepped into that role. He prayed up a storm, saying all the right things. Nancy and I immediately felt at peace. We were also very proud of our little boy.
Lola showed up late as usual. She brought a lady that was supposed to be a cousin of the boys and her son. The meeting was weird. Lola was shedding tears occasionally. The boys were oblivious to her and the purpose of the meeting.
Tommy was then three and a half. He showed how pointless the whole process had been when he walked up to Lola and asked her, “Who are you?”
She responded that she was his mother and that this was the last time that she would see him. His answer makes my point in this article. He said, “I will miss you because you always bring us chips.”
We exchanged pictures. That was also useless because she always lost any photographs that we gave her within a week or so. She gave us photos that she said were of Walter. They weren’t. She also gave us some pictures of her, a few of which were obviously goofy drug pictures.
We all said good-bye and left. That was it. I assumed that I would never have to deal with her again; I was wrong.
The court had to extend the matter for another six months because they had been unable to get service of process on the named fathers. Lola was out of the picture, but the wheels of justice continued to turn very slowly.
Related Blogs:
Crack Moms, A National Problem
Our First Meeting With the Birth Mother