Have you ever wondered as a single parent why when family comes in for the holidays all of the sudden others feel it necessary to step in and take over? Of course this is to give you a break. I mean after all you work full time and are raising children on your own. Is it not wonderful to have your parent or family member come in and pretty much take over so you can have some relief? After all, if you are a woman then family members may feel the child needs a strong male influence etc.
All of this, as helpful as others feel it may be, is not helpful. Yes, life is challenging but you have parenting challenges just the same as any other parent. Children go through many phases during their adolescence and whether you are heading into the storm on your own or with someone at your side it is going to be an uphill battle of the wills.
Be confident in your parenting. Let your family members know that you have got it handled. You appreciate their interest and the fact that they care so much for you and the child but you would like for the child to be able to enjoy them when they are there for a brief visit. It is important that when you have this discussion you do not lay into them but rather phrase it in a way that makes them feel that you too are looking out for their best interest.
Parenting is a rough job. It is important to have others to lean on and to vent to. Family members can be a tremendous support system. However, when you feel they are over stepping their bounds during visits for the sake of “helping” be honest with your feeling and stand confident in your abilities to parent. You can do it!