I don’t feel like an overweight woman most of the time. Yeah, my back hurts and I’m tired a lot, but heck, kids can do that to you right? What I don’t get is why couldn’t I have a problem different than obesity instead? Why couldn’t I be too pretty or too charming? For some reason it seems more acceptable for a person’s eating disorder to manifest in being thin than overweight.
My problem is, when I look in the mirror I don’t see a fat lady. I know I’m not thin, but I have just grown to accept that I’m heavier. What I’m dealing with at the moment I’m writing this is, I’m getting older, I’m feeling more tired; I’m feeling fat. I can’t live this way. I’m battling between being comfortable with who I am and knowing I need to be healthier. Deep down, I know I’m not truly happy about this.
- I’ve tried a few weight loss plans involving portioning. This hasn’t worked for me since it causes me to think more about the food and what I’m missing out on. Food then becomes a bigger temptation.
- I do well working out when I can find the time. I mall walk a lot after my husband comes home which helps me feel good, but it’s not enough.
- I found doing other things that make me feel good help, but it’s causes other problems since buying jewelry for myself, as great as it feels, is an expensive hobby; one that I really can’t afford to enjoy too much.
- I pray a lot about my weight. I ask God to supernaturally remove my pounds or make my metabolism super efficient. I’m thinking He wants me to work on this like everyone else does.
- I’ve threatened my husband with being a three-hundred pound wife if he doesn’t stop bringing home bait—-I mean junk food.
Since I have this great plan in writing and verbally announced about being a new “me” by my big birthday closer to the end of the year, I’d better follow through. I need to. I have to realize I’m not just doing this for me. I owe it to my husband to be a happy healthy wife for him. I owe it to my children to be a happy healthy mommy who can play with them and live to see my grandbabies.
Somewhere between sitting at the computer writing this, and the dream of who I want to be lies the real me.
Melissa is a Families.com Christian Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/mj7/blog