How I Became Your Mother: The Story of Joe and Eddie Adoption Families.com

Continued from An Adoptive Mother’s Letter to Her Daughter: The Journey of How I became Your Mother.

What started as a letter to Makala has turned into a journey of an adoptive mother. It is clear the words I have written so far are too many–and complex for a child of 9-years. They will be here, however and live longer than I do. Even if she doesn’t understand the meaning of these words today, I hope in the future she will see that all of this was about love.

Makala writing to you has made me understand my whole life was designed to become your mother. God has been the hand that guided me and I have learned along the way the skills I needed and how to have faith and hope. I know that God has a reason for everything and it all works together for the good he has planned. If I had not been Sean’s mommy when he was hurt–I would not understand the kind of pain you suffered or the scars on your heart you hide so well.

From the first memory of my life, adoption has been God’s Will for me. Starting with Uncle Eddie. When he was just a little boy of 4-years old he and his older brother Joe were removed from their mother’s care and placed into an Orphanage. In the 1940’s children taken from their mother were placed all together in centers much like residential treatment. Eddie and Joe lived there until they became men and had to leave.

Joe was the oldest, so he left four years earlier and went to make a life for his little brother. But, Joe made some poor choices about how to live his life and he became a gangster in Chicago. When Uncle Eddie left the Orphanage Joe was there to great him. Uncle Eddie was just 17 when he found himself with no one except a brother who was a criminal. One night Joe told Eddie that in order to be a part of the gang he would have to rob and kill a delivery driver.

Uncle Eddie was so scared and didn’t know what to do. The day before the robbery he was walking on the street and passed by a Navy Recruitment office and turned around and walked in the door. He told the recruiter about his life and his obligation to kill a man the next day. The recruiter offered Uncle Eddie a different choice in life–the chance to serve his country. The recruiter told Uncle Eddie that if he joined that day he could fly to San Diego and be free from killing a man the next day.

Uncle Eddie signed up that moment and thanked God for a chance to make a different choice. That night he flew to San Diego where he started basic training, and met Aunt Terrie. When he shipped out they wrote to each other and fell in love. A few years later they were married and started their family. They had two boys before they knew it and they were very happy. But, in Uncle Eddie’s heart he knew he wanted to Adopt a child.

I was only 6-years old when Uncle Eddie told our family the stories of being a child in an Orphanage, and how it hurt so badly to wait everyday of his life to be adopted. He shared the stories of “parents” who would come to the orphanage and take a boy or two home with them. The boys worked hard all summer in the corn crops only to be returned to the orphanage when the work was done for the season.

Uncle Eddie shared with all of us about how this hurt his heart and scared him. He talked about how hard he tried to impress the parents who took him to their home and made him work so hard.

Uncle Eddie said, “I always tried to make them Love me. But, in the end I was not loved enough to be adopted by anybody”

This was so sad for all of us to hear. Even though Aunt Terrie always knew these stories, we were hearing them for the first time. We all cried and wondered how Uncle Eddie had the chance to become the man we knew him to be? How could anyone be a man of God and a Minister when his own life had started out so filled with pain and hurt?

A few months later, we all welcomed Julie to our family. She was a little baby in foster care, and became Uncle Eddies most special daughter–by adoption. The only other little girl in our family, besides me! My beautiful–wonderful cousin by adoption.

There is so much more to the story of Uncle Eddie and his brother Joe. I am trying very hard to write the book about their lives, it truly was incredible. But, most of all the story amazed me as a child because, I could see that God was in charge of Uncle Eddie and because of that our family was changed forever. I knew when I was just 6-years old that I would become YOUR mother, and since that time my life has been about getting ready to help your heart heal.

To be continued: Thanksgiving and LeRoys Boys Home.

Related Blogs:

Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms: Adoption terms and special needs words may vary from agency to agency. The terms used in this Special Needs Adoption-Related Glossary may be slightly different from one State to another.

A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z

For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.

Anna Glendenning is also Families.com Insurance and Guest Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/happymomanna/blog