Continued from, When Uncle Eddie Took Care of His Birth Mother.
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Makala, it seems like my whole life has been all about becoming your mommy–and Jeremiah’s mommy too. I have learned so many things along the way that have made me a strong mother, who is willing to learn what I need to help you grow up and become the mommy you hope to be. With Uncle Eddie, and all the children I knew in my life I learned a lot about being adopted. Not that anyone who wasn’t adopted could ever understand everything.
When I was just 18-years old I married Tori and Sean’s daddy. You know all about the fact that he was an adopted boy–along with Aunt Laura his sister. I know you also know that I didn’t stay married to Tori and Sean’s daddy because we had some problems. But, you should know it had nothing to do with the fact he was an adopted boy… It had to do more with how his adoptive parents raised him. If I couldn’t stay married to him, because he was adopted I sure would NOT still be best friends with Aunt Laura, now would I?
You also know that Tori and Sean’s daddy found his birth parents last year, and that everyone is happy about this fact. Tori and Sean didn’t know until last year that they were even American Indians, and none of us would have ever guessed! Even I have been happy to learn about this because, up until a year ago when we went to the doctors we only knew my side of the family history. Now we know all of the rest.
When Tori and Sean’s dad was adopted things were so different then they are today. Some kids were never even told that they had been adopted! And, they didn’t get any information about their birth mother–not even the fact they were American Indian’s! He didn’t have a picture of his birth mother, or know anything and when I was his wife he did have a sad heart about that.
He sometimes made up a story about why and how he was an adopted boy. Some of his stories were very sad, and sometimes he thought he was not good enough for his birth mother to want to raise herself. That part of being an adopted boy did cause him some problems in life. It was because he just didn’t have any answers.
I learned a lot about how adopted people feel when I was married to him, because his adopted sister also married an adopted person. When we all had babies, I was the only one who could look at the five cousins and say, “I think Tori has my dads smile.” Or “Sean has my grandmother’s build.” I learned that this really bugged the three other grown ups and came to understand how important it was that my adopted kids knew as much as we could share with you.
That’s why we have your Life book, so that you and Jeremiah will always have a chance to see what your birth mother looked like, and know what kind of family history you have. You shouldn’t worry so much that you might forget what your birth mother looks like because anytime you need to we can get out the pictures and remember.
Just because I am your growing up mommy, doesn’t mean I want you to forget or stop loving your birth mother. She tried her best to take care of you, but she had too many problems and wasn’t able to make the right choices. Sometimes when a mother loves her babies the most she learns it is better for them to grow up safe in a home with an adoptive mom and dad…
Some birth moms know right when the baby is born, and other birth moms try for a long time and don’t want to give up. Your birth mom tried a long time for you, but her grown up problems were too hard for her to fix. She never wanted to give up on you, but she also knew at the end it was for the best.
You remember the day you said, “Goodbye” and the police had to come to the visit-center and help your birth mother let go of you. I remember that day too, it was very hard for me. But, you also remember that she wouldn’t let go of you until she put you in my arms. Do you remember that she said, “Thank you” to me when she put you in my arms?
I do, because I remember it did break my heart to take you from her–but, the fact she said, “Thank You” made me believe that we working together to give you the very best life.
Continued: Our Journey to Adopt you started before our wedding day.
Related Blogs:
- Choices and Consequences
- Scar Tissue
- Rumors and Crutches
- The Story of Joe and Eddie
- Thanksgiving and LeRoy’s Boys
- When Uncle Eddie Took Care of His Birth Mother.
- When Uncle Eddie Took Care of His Birth Mother.
Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms: Adoption terms and special needs words may vary from agency to agency. The terms used in this Special Needs Adoption-Related Glossary may be slightly different from one State to another.
A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.
Anna Glendenning is also Families.com Insurance and Guest Blogger. Read her blogs at: http://members.families.com/happymomanna/blog