When you and your spouse are having a disagreement, are you having a problem or simply exhibiting the fact that you are both individual and different people? There is a – if you’ll pardon the pub – a difference. Understanding this difference can help you and your spouse to avoid unneccessary arguments and actually strengthen your marriage by giving you a foundation of mutual respect and understanding.
What Is a Problem?
A problem occurs between you and your spouse when an issue comes up that cannot be resolved quickly. These issues can be financial, household and more. A problem is not being able to pay a bill. A problem is not being able to purchase groceries or repair a broken faucet. A problem is an icy path or a bunch of weeds in the garden. A problem is a difficulty that must be overcome.
What is a Difference?
A difference is a demonstration of what makes each of you who you are. Does he squeeze the toothpaste at the end of the roll and you squeeze it in the middle? That’s not a problem. It’s a difference. Does he like chicken, but not fish while you prefer fish to chicken? This is not a problem, it’s a difference. He stays up late, she gets up early, this isn’t a problem, it’s a difference.
She dreams of a better life and goes to school to improve herself. He is content with the status quo and is more interested in going to the movies to have fun than he is in going to school. This is not a problem, this is a difference.
Do You See a Pattern Here?
Differences can be made into problems, but they do not start off that way. Who you are and what you enjoy is going to be different from your spouse. There are many things you have in common, if you didn’t have many things in common, you wouldn’t be married in the first place. How you choose to respond to the differences between you can make them problems or can enhance your marriage.
So do you and your spouse have a problem or is it just a difference?
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