Stuff happens, and usually when we least expect it or when we are already under pressure and just don’t think we can take any more. The unfortunate thing about becoming overwhelmed is that it is very easy to take it out on the people who are closest to us. It’s not unusual for this to occur, but it’s something we have to work to avoid.
Even if you feel better temporarily after blowing off steam, it will be short lived. You’ll feel worse long term for having taken things out on your spouse. It helps to devise a system for dealing with stressful situations together.
If you’re the type of person that needs to talk about things, make it clear that you are not angry with your spouse or blaming him or her for the problem before you begin. Explain that you just need to vent, and then proceed in a way that doesn’t accuse, ridicule, or sound hurtful to your spouse. Try to remain calm while talking about the issue. Holding it in isn’t good, but “going off” isn’t either.
Agree that the two of you will take time to investigate solutions to problems instead of reacting impulsively or unilaterally. Begin putting together a miscellaneous fund to counter unforeseen financial obstacles.
Come up with specific plans in advance to address emergencies, so that both of you know what is expected of you if an emergency arises. Having a plan can make the difference between an emergency and a tragedy.
If you are becoming overwhelmed with minor issues, things that don’t require immediate attention, try to take a break from those things that are weighing you down. Get out of the house together for a while. Concentrate on something else temporarily. Give yourself permission to relax so you can regroup. Clear your minds and then go back to face your troubles with fresh thoughts and with your spouse by your side.
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