Okay let’s be perfectly real here – finding out your pregnant while single and still living with your parents is never a picnic. There are just as few parents of teens out there that will be instantly transformed into grandparents as there are teens out there that will instantly become super parents. It was probably hard enough for you to find out the big news yourself, but the horror isn’t over yet. Now, you will have to tell the other important people in your life. How will they react? What will they say or do? What exactly is the best way to approach such a touchy subject, anyway?
Typically, the first person you should tell will be the father of the child. The way you go about this will vary depending on your relationship. If you are in a serious relationship, you may have suspected pregnancy and taken the test together, in which case you both found out at the same time. If you are not in a serious relationship, chances are that you took the test alone, or perhaps with a close girlfriend. Either way, you will need to tell the father as he needs to be given the amount of responsibility that he is due. However, always keep in mind that while it takes two to tango, creating a baby does not a father make. You will initially have a 50/50 chance of the father being there for this child, so don’t push him away by being demanding of him or you may lessen your chances. At any rate, the two of you need to decide what you are going to do, although it is ultimately your body and your decision.
Telling your parents is the tricky part. Since my mom delivers babies for a living, there wasn’t much chance of hiding it from her for long. Before I could decide how to do it, she had already guessed. I had mentioned to her that I wasn’t going to class one evening, and when she asked why I told her that I felt nauseous. She immediately knew. Since I wasn’t living with her, she suggested I tell my dad soon. As fate would have it, they ran into each other at the grocery store and she warned him that I had something I needed to confide to him. He more or less guessed it on his own as well.
Both my parents were very supportive, but this is not always the case for young moms. In fact, many teens report that they are terrified of what their parent’s reaction may be – and with good reason if they are from a broken or unsupportive family. It can be easy to stereotype and assume that teen moms are usually from this kind of home, but that would be counter-productive. I was not from a “broken home”, but life happens and not always the way we plan it. We as a society need to be more supportive of all moms, of all walks of life.
Keep an upbeat attitude. If you plan to keep your baby, you will want to do it with support from those who love you. Don’t alienate your family – give them time to warm up to the idea. Your parents won’t be able to deny a beautiful child once it is here. Appeal to their better nature, and approach them with a plan for your future. Show them that with their help, you can and will take charge of your new life.
I will be talking more about ways to do just that, so don’t go far!
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