One of the most tragic experiences of my life was my mother’s death. She died of breast cancer in 1994, and not only did I lose my mom, but my children and my future children lost a wonderful grandmother. There is a scene forever etched in my mind during my mother’s last days in the hospital, where I put Kyle, then a fifteen-month-old infant, into her arms. My mother didn’t have any hair as she lay in her hospital bed, and Kyle was just as bald. It was a very tender moment for all of us as she looked into her young grandson’s eyes with obvious love and sadness. There was a lot of symbolism in that embrace. One life was just beginning, and another was nearly finished. Suddenly a team of doctors with clipboards burst into the room, and stopped immediately in their tracks. I saw the lead doctor take a deep breath, and his expression softened as he dared not interrupt the sanctity of that moment.
Of course my kids have no idea what they lost when my mother died. They couldn’t know that she would have swept them up in her arms at every greeting and been delighted with their every word. And likewise, my mother couldn’t have known in that hospital room that Kyle would eventually be diagnosed with autism. I often wonder what her words of advice might have been, had she lived beyond his diagnosis.
Fortunately, my children have been blessed with the love of many other grandparents in their lives. In fact, because we are in a blended family, there are eight sets of grandparents connected to my kids. It gets a little confusing during the holidays. Some grandparents are only associated with their biological grandkids, and some have “adopted” all the children, regardless. Our house is filled with quilts, paintings, pajamas, dolls, and books made by grandparents. My widowed father remarried and my children inherited a wonderful, talented woman as a new grandmother. And frequently I hear my stepdaughters tell me stories about their “Nanna” and the things she makes and bakes when they’re together.
I can’t help but feel gratitude for the many times grandparents have babysat, helped us paint and move, organized family gatherings, provided us with lodging, barbecued for us, offered advice and wisdom, and rescued me and my family in a million other ways. But best of all, my children can do very little wrong in the eyes of their grandparents. And that’s a very safe, warm place to be–especially for children who must face the world with special challenges.
Kristyn Crow is the author of this blog. Visit her website by clicking here. Some links on this blog may have been generated by outside sources are not necessarily endorsed by Kristyn Crow.
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