I can hardly believe that I am writing this particular blog, but the information is the kind that you either read in a teen magazine designed to teach girls how to set their caps for boys or on a single’s site where you might look for key tips on catching a mate. With that in mind, I wanted to take a more romantic look at the basic biology and chemistry that exists between two people.
The Body Language of Seduction
According to anthropologist David Givens in his new book Love Signals, we must lure our mates because they are a prey we wish to capture alive. What I found most interesting about his book and his information is that it is equally important for men and women to appear vulnerable and harmless to the person they are trying to lure to them.
You should never appear guarded and you should avoid looking highly defensive. He cites clothing choices such as turtlenecks and shirts buttoned all the way to the top are sure signs to the opposite sex that you are in defensive mode and hiding within your own personal fortress.
According to Givens, it’s important for you to dress in an appealing and appetizing way. He says that vibrant colors from lemon yellow to forest green to cheery red will appear more alluring as though you are ripe and ready to be plucked.
Givens also contends that once you’ve found a mate or attracted a potential one, it’s not what you say, but how you say it. Body language plays a vital role in all of our interactions with others. Among his suggestions:
- Keep your hands open when you talk, the open palm suggests that you are friendly and available
- The Cute Response (yes anthropologists actually call it that) it involves displaying your interest to your potential mate by lifting one shoulder and tilting your head to the side – apparently that communicates I’m interested and I’m adorable
- Dress up your vulnerability by wearing an open shirt that displays your throat and collarbone, literally revealing your weakness
One of his last suggestions cracked me up, seriously, but Givens called it the act of Drawing Attention to Yourself. You do this, by playing an old and coveted trick in the book – you get near the person whom you want to attract and drop something. This allows you to bend over and pick it up. According to Givens, this works because we see moving objects from the corners of our eyes and a person who bends down displays vulnerability – and in some cases a good deal of cleavage.
All in all, I think Givens had some interesting things to say and his anthropological look at how we lure and attract those we’re interested in was definitely worth reading, but the old drop the hanky trick? I guess there’s a reason it’s such a cliché.
What do you think?
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