One of the hardest things to come to grips with before I’d truly turned my life over to God is that God was really capable of changing me. I lacked the faith He would because I’d cried out to Him and didn’t initially see anything great take place. Perhaps the reason I wasn’t seeing change in my life was because I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to let go of my old life. Once I was ready, I was at a point where I wanted to throw everything down. This is exactly what God wanted and needed from me. Because God had given me free will, He was not going to entirely change me while I was still in my sin and not in His presence since I’d be constantly resisting Him.
I’ve known several people who’ve desperately needed God and have heard them complain about how God wasn’t there when they needed them. It’s not easy to convince a non-believer that the reason it seemed as if God wasn’t hearing them was likely because they’d built up a wall of sin around themselves and had become blinded from truth, blocking the presence of God in their lives. God could bust down this wall, but He’s given us free will. He is blessed by our own desire to come to Him, not our obligation to do so. When people are willing to take down their wall by faith with the help of Christ, their perspectives can change and hope doesn’t appear as foreign as once thought.
It’s too bad many people end up hitting rock bottom in their lives before realizing all they ever needed was waiting for them all along. No longer do I feel lonely. When I face troubles in my life, I do so in faith that God is bigger than the problem at hand. When I’m depressed, I can turn to song and praise toward Christ and feel better. When I become too anxious, He brings calming reminders of faith to my heart and mind. God is with me and His instruction and love is written in the Bible. I’m so glad I chose to tear down those walls in my heart and allow God to give me a new life and opportunity to feel what real joy is.
Starting New
My scars tell a story
Of who I used to be;
A person who was hurting
Until Jesus set me free.
A void had once echoed
Deep inside my heart
Until one day I cried out
For a fresh new start.
I was tired of being lonely,
And feeling shame inside;
I seemed to have forgotten
It was for my sins that Jesus died.
How could He ever want me?
What value might I have
To a God who is perfect
That He’d want to take my hand?
After I’d repented
And followed my Lord’s lead,
I began to understand
He truly wanted to bless me.
Back then, my eyes were blinded
By sin and Satan’s lies,
Now I understand
All along He’d heard my cries.
Jesus waited hand extended;
All I had to do was give
My life into His keeping
Eternity I’d spend with Him.
Jesus gave me hope
Where I didn’t see a way
Now I feel real joy where there
Was once was grief and shame.
Yes, my scars still tell a story
But it’s conclusion is testimony,
Of my old life I have traded
For salvation and God’s blessings.
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“Starting New” poem is property of Melissa J.