Today my baby turns four years old. Four is a bittersweet age. He’s no longer a baby, for sure, but he still wants to be in many ways! He’s bursting with independence but with independence becomes new fears and insecurities. Has it only been four years? Sometimes it seems like an eternity, others like only a fraction of a second. I still remember carrying him to my body from my womb, amazed at what a tiny miracle he was (all 10.5 lbs of him!).
Birthdays, no matter what the age though, are always bittersweet for me. They are not just the celebration of the day each child was born but also a celebration of the day I became each child’s mother. In this way, they are celebrations of life’s greatest miracle and the most blissful days of my life.
It should come as no surprise, then, that we really celebrate! It seems like our celebrations grow more and more elaborate as the years progress. Here is what our current birthday celebration looks like:
Morning: of course the birthday child gets to plan and chose the birthday breakfast. Usually this is either a meal out at a favorite breakfast joint or a forbidden breakfast treat. This year my son picked out a sugary-sweet breakfast cereal that I’d never ordinarily allow. This, combined with bacon and strawberry-orange juice, will be the start of his Big Day.
Presents: any gifts that are sent from family and friends are saved to distribute on the Big Day, along with the gifts from us parents. The siblings often make their own gifts and cards, something we strongly encourage. In fact, the siblings often spend the birthday day creating more special pictures, notes or gifts that they think the birthday child might appreciate. We tend not to open gifts all at once but savor them throughout the day, enjoying and playing with and using each gift as it is opened.
Lunch: As with breakfast, this is designed by the birthday child often months in advance. Today, my son has chosen to buy the otherwise forbidden Kids Cuisine Cheese Pizza Painter which should be interesting considering he does not like pizza!
Throughout the day: the birthday boy is King. This is his day and he gets to be in the spotlight. That means he gets to call the shots and make the rules during play and chose the games, all within reason of course. Another special rule on the Big Day is the birthday child gets to chose whether he wants to go to school or stay home! This is the only day of the year that each child gets to play hooky from school! A favorite perk of the big Day is that the birthday child does not have to do ANY cleaning or chores! We all pick up the slack and make sure the King gets to enjoy his day of luxury!
Dinner: Dinner is, again, chosen by the child. This is almost always out at a restaurant with a few relatives in attendance. It’s fun to see what each child chooses and how their tastes change as they get older. Tonight we are going to Olive Garden but other children have picked such delicacies as McDonalds on their big day! When our oldest son turned 12, he chose sushi which was something most of us really appreciated!
Dessert: Cake, of course! If the child is going to school, we also send cupcakes for the class or another approved birthday treat. The birthday cake is chosen months in advance by the birthday child, sometimes the cake is very creative (like the year I had to make a dinosaur cake with a volcano and a lake!) but sometimes the choice is surprisingly simple (like the ever-popular cherry dump cake). Today’s cake will be a Costco St. Patty’s Day cake that we will adorn, on special request, with mini chocolate chips. Cheap, easy and delicious!
Bedtime: The day isn’t complete until the day is complete. As our children get older, we allow them to stay up as late as they want on their birthdays (school permitting). Our little ones are never very interested in this offer but the big kids absolutely love it! On request, we also allow their siblings to stay up with them for a makeshift impromptu sleepover party. Having a big family pays off in this way!
After reading all of this, it might not surprise you to learn that we also celebrate Half Birthdays! Sometimes I think kids love these even more than their regular birthdays because they are so unique. They are a lot like birthdays but scaled way back. There is only one gift, chosen by the child. There is no cake but we do let the half-birthday child pick dinner. As you might have noticed, most of our celebrations revolve around food!
We might be crazy but we love the feeling of really putting each child on a pedestal this one day of the year that is theirs and theirs alone. And, for me, it makes the celebration of my anniversary of Motherhood all the more special. Four years might have zoomed past but I won’t let it go by without a celebration!