I puzzled and mulled over what to title this blog and all I could come up with was that sometimes, as parents, we have to allow things to happen to and for our children without interfering. This doesn’t mean that we let them burn their hand on the stove in order to learn that it is hot and will hurt them, nor does it mean that we let them get hit by a car in order to learn to stay out of the road. BUT, there are times, when the best thing we can do as caring parents is to take a back seat, and let the natural consequences brought about by our child’s actions unfold.
Being a parent can feel like carrying around the weight of the world—we try to mold, educate and guide our children through all sorts of trials and phases and tribulations. But, the fact is, sometimes no amount of our lecturing and telling them what will happen can teach a lesson as well as our child experiencing the consequences for herself.
This doesn’t mean that we’re not staying close by, or that our hearts may not break as we refrain from stepping in to save the day or lessen the blow—we haven’t completely abdicated our role as caring parent, but sometimes the most loving and caring thing we can do is to allow life to happen and allow our children to learn life’s lessons without our direct interference.
I can think of times with my own children when letting them take the “F” instead of stepping in to help with a homework project that was delayed or ignored, or letting them work through their own social battles was much more effective than my stepping and telling them what to do. That didn’t mean it came easily for me.
I know first hand that this is MUCH easier said, or recommended, than actually done!
See Also: Letting Our Kids Do Things on Their Own and Moral Challenges for Young Children