How many times have you punished yourself right along with your kids? Sometimes it’s unavoidable. Suppose you’re out on the town and your child starts to misbehave, should you endure this misbehavior or leave? Most experts tell you to leave. However, is it fair to you or perhaps a sibling? Absolutely not. The entire family will suffer for the misbehavior of one. There’s ways around this, of course, although someone will still be unhappy. If you have a child who routinely misbehaves you can take separate cars and agree in advance that one parent will leave with the offending kid in tow. At least the other parent and the sibling(s) get a stress-free night on the town. Hopefully, you’ll only have to do this once or twice for it to become effective.
As a single mom, I find myself often faced with this conundrum. Most of the time Tyler and I are out alone so if he misbehaves I have to endure it or leave. I have also missed many planned outings because he misbehaved before we left home causing me to cancel the trip. It’s okay if we’re going on a trip to the mall but I hate to miss one-time special events. We missed the Wiggles because of his misbehavior and I really wanted to see the Wiggles?
There are other ways not to punish yourself or your other kids when one child is misbehaving. If you are going out and one child misbehaves, arrange for a baby sitter, then go out, and have a grand old time without him. I’ve even seen a recommendation that the child help pay for the cost of getting said baby sitter.
TV privileges are another biggie. Don’t turn off the TV in the family room because one child is being punished. Send the offending child to his room. And then kick back and watch TV in peace.
You can effectively punish your child for unacceptable behavior; just make sure you’re not punishing yourself or other family members in the process.
See also:
Is Your Method of Discipline Working?