The non-stop twists and turns associated with Paris Hilton’s probation violation case are enough to make anyone dizzy… or nauseated.
Hmmm… nausea… I wonder if that is the “undisclosed medical condition” that got the hotel heiress sprung from her jail cell after serving just three days behind bars?
For those of you out of the loop, the 26-year-old jailbird is free to fly around her own home now that she has been fitted with an electronic monitoring device and released… I mean… reassigned to house arrest.
“She was not released, she was reassigned,” a Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department spokesperson said at a press conference earlier today.
The spokesperson was tight lipped about the details of Hilton’s “reassignment,” but did reveal that the decision to let her out of jail was made after “extensive consultation” with medical personnel.
The blonde socialite was reportedly released shortly after midnight on Thursday and will spend the next 40 days confined to her home wearing an ankle bracelet with a range of 3,000-4,000 square feet. (Wonder what that means for an heiress who lives in a 10,000-sqaure foot mansion?)
As for what implications Hilton’s “reassignment” has on the sheriff’s department (basically the stigma that it is notoriously soft on the celebrity inmates) the department’s spokesperson told news reporters: “It doesn’t matter how we look, really. We just hopefully do our job and do it professionally, with a sense of humanity.”
“Sense of humanity”… an interesting choice of words considering that PEOPLE magazine just published an article about Hilton’s time behind bars, which quoted sources that said: “Paris cries all day. She looks unwashed, she has no makeup and her hair is tangled. She cried audibly through the first two nights.”
Perhaps the “sense of humanity” the sheriff’s spokesperson was referring to was for the other inmates… or perhaps the jail staff who had to listen to the party princess’ whines.
So what did Hilton have to cry about (besides being in isolation for 23 of the 24 hours of the day and having no access to her beloved BlackBerry)? Apparently, the reality TV star didn’t take well to her jail diet, which consisted of franks and beans, bologna sandwiches and chocolate-chip cookies.
Oh, the humanity…
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