I once received advice from a teacher of one of my children—I was volunteering in the classroom and we were chatting one day about some of her teaching philosophies and methods. She shared with me a tiny morsel of advice that I not only took to heart, but have also applied as a guiding philosophy in my parenting. She said that she thought we should give our children as much freedom as they could handle. And, with Independence Day coming up, I thought it might be appropriate to chat a bit about freedom here in the Parents blog.
The tough part about this philosophy is that it doesn’t always come naturally—in fact, often as a parent, I feel more inclined to protect or shelter my child and less inclined to expect that they can tackle all the responsibilities and realities that come with freedom. I can’t tell you how many times it has been someone else—a teacher, coach, grandparent—who has allowed my child to do things that I thought they were far too young for, and, of course, they did just fine. This is one of those lessons I have to learn over and over again.
The positive thing about allowing our children as much freedom as they can cope with is that it builds confidence and self-esteem. We let our children see and feel that we believe in them and we have faith that they will make the right choices and do the right things. Keep in mind that this philosophy is NOT—let our kids do whatever they want, and, just because a child thinks he or she should be allowed to do something, doesn’t mean that he or she is necessarily ready. As parents, we still have to exert some guidance and oversee the loosening of the reigns. BUT, we can also hurt our children by holding back and not allowing them to gradually experience more and more age-appropriate freedom.
See Also: What Do Children Need More–Structure or Freedom?
Teaching Kids the Responsibilities That Come With Freedom