Don’t get me wrong. . .I love my twins. I am definitely one of those people who considers it a double blessing to have twins. In fact, it kind of rubs me the wrong way when I hear someone say, “Uh oh, double trouble.” So it’s not that I’m saying that it’s horrible to have twins. However, it seems to me that there’s this trend towards wanting them. They are the coolest accessory around. I’m constantly running in to people that gush over my good fortune. As reproductive technology advances and becomes more feasible, I hear more and more people say, “Oh I want twins. Two for the price of one, right?”
I have written, and could probably write abundantly more in the pregnancy blog on why twins is not a two for one deal when it comes to pregnancy. It is incredibly hard on your body because essentially, we are not designed to carry more than one fetus at a time. But today rather, I want to focus on some of the things that are rather difficult about raising twins.
Sleep Deprivation
It is true that no matter what you do, you are bound to experience sleep deprivation with a newborn in the house. The difference is that with one baby, there is a second set of hands that is available to help you out and give you a rest. With two babies however, that second set of hands needs his own rest.
When our girls were born my husband had baby duty every night. I had typically nursed our babies and honestly, didn’t need my husband to wake up except on that rare occasion. I was more prepared for the sleep deprivation but my poor dear husband, walked around like a zombie for several months after their birth. Extreme sleep deprivation causes all sorts of mental deterioration–which you should expect if you’re having twins.
That Twin Thing
When my twins were born my oldest daughter was 6. She was convinced that they would be best friends and have everything in common because after all, they look alike. But we’re quickly discovering that one of the hardest things about twindom is being a twin. Simply because of who they are, there are expectations placed on them that are unlike the expectations placed on any of their other siblings. Helping them shrug the expectations of others is a delicate balance of teaching them respect but allowing them to be their own people is a little more complicated than it sounds.
Someone once put it very aptly: Deliberately having twins is like having a house fire so that you can use the insurance money to remodel your house. The end result is wonderful but the road to get there is very difficult.
So if you are thinking of deliberately getting two out of the way so it will be easier in the long run, let me assure you that there is nothing easier about having twins. On the other hand, if you find yourself surprised when you see two little heads on that sonogram monitor. . .congratulations!
*The twins recently turned two, so to celebrate their birthdays, you can look for more articles on raising twins this week!