Do you find attempts at negotiation and conversation with your ex-spouse or your child’s other parent deteriorate into screaming matches or you are just unable to come to agreements about parenting and custody issues? Are you having a hard time getting schedules worked out or keeping the lines of communication open between one side of your child’s family and the other? Are you still trying to come up with a workable parenting agreement? If there are still unresolved issues and problems regarding parenting your child, then you might want to consider bringing in a professional mediator to help you with the details…
Professional mediation is not counseling—not in the “therapy” sense of the word. Many people are reluctant to use a mediator because they think it will be like seeing a psychologist or a therapist. Mediators, in fact, receive a different type of training and learn how to facilitate communication and help the two parties reach working agreements. There are actually professional mediators who specialize in family mediation and are quite skilled at helping work out parenting plans, custody arrangements, and other details that come up in divorced or single-parent families.
You can find a mediator by asking your family law attorney or if you look under “mediation service” in the yellow pages of your phone book. Many attorneys who specialize in divorce and family law will actually have a list of referrals for professional mediators that they can share with their clients. Look for a mediator who has experience with divorce, families, and parenting plans.
It will help the process if you have a clear idea of what your problem areas are. This can be tough is the issues are clouded with unfinished emotional issues and communication has become impossible. While some mediation can be brief, and a great deal can be accomplished in one session with a trained, professional mediator, be prepared that it might take a few meetings to come to a working agreement regarding parenting plans and issues.
Also: Getting in the Right Frame of Mind for Negotiations
Developing a Communication Style That Works with the Ex
Finding Things You CAN Agree On