While all parents have to find a way to be the best and most effective parent possible, a single parent does have some more intense challenges, or at least challenges that can be more of a juggling game. Since we are called upon to play all the roles and be provider, housekeeper, and parent, we have to find a way to balance our practical, responsible side, with the loving nurturing that our kids require and deserve.
I can really get caught up in just keeping things going. With three kids, a small business to run and a more “traditional” job as well—my way of getting through the day is just to start early and try to stay on task. Of course, things don’t always go the way I’d like or follow my plans, but I figure it I at least stay focused; I’ll keep a roof over our head and food on the table. Unfortunately, I can get so focused on being the organized provider, I forget that I need to be the soft, warm-hearted, available mom too!
When my kids were younger, it seemed we had built-in nurturing and snuggle time—bath time, reading stories, doing homework, spending time lounging about on a weekend morning. But now that they are older, they need me in different ways. They still need me, but I often have to be the instigator and be tuned in to when they need some “mom time.” Since there is no one else to help with the “have-to-dos”—this is where a single parent has to strive for balance and letting the unimportant things go, or at least putting them off to another time.
At the same time, we do have to keep the bills paid and make doctor’s appointments and do all those practical things—by keeping the focus on what is best for the child and what makes a strong family, I think we can usually let our kids and the universe guide us into making the right choices and keeping ourselves available to be the loving nurturer—and/or the competent provider.
Also: Where Does Social Life Rank in Your Priorities?
The Multi-Tasking Single Parent–Involve Your Child in What You Need to Do
Why We Can’t Do it All–Even if We Want To