As adoptive parents, we already realize that we will encounter a unique set of challenges. Besides the normal responsibilities of child rearing, we need to be prepared to help our child through the issues that are inherent with being adopted. If you are adopting transracially or transculturally, then you have an added responsibility to help your child develop a strong sense of self and a pride in their heritage.
During the wait to bring your child home, it is vital that you take the time to read about all of these issues and to talk to those who have been there before. That extra time that the wait provides is a great time to prepare yourself mentally for the challenges and joys that will come with adoptive parenting.
Here are some important things to research while you wait:
Learn About Your Child’s Country
Take the time to read about the history of the country, their holidays, their traditions and their unique culture. Some parents learn how to make native dishes. Others begin to collect items from their child’s homeland. Anything you can do to begin incorporating your child’s national heritage into your life will be a great benefit to them later.
Learn About Attachment
There are a number of excellent books available on attachment. Also, my co-blogger, Anna Glederling has written a number of great entries on attachment. Take advantage of the people who have experienced attaching in adoption. Of course, we all hope that OUR child will quickly attach to and that we won’t meet those challenges. However, most adopted children will have at least a little difficulty with attachment, so it is good for you to be prepared.
Learn About Parenting
It is important not to stick just to adoption books. Make sure that you also read about child care in general. What care will your child need? What difficulties come along with different ages? Also, read about parenting and make decisions about what kind of parent you want to be and what kind of disciplinary style you plan to follow.