Okay, so we know it’s not a competition. Our parents are not bribing us to give them more grandchildren; they’re at the point where the announcement of more arrivals becomes just gravy (my parents have only two grandchildren, and my in-laws have three). But all this has not stopped many of our FRIENDS from having more!
What are they, crazy?
I don’t know how they do it. Two other moms we are close to now, from play groups and pre-school, have had a third child. Our oldest children are the same age, and our second children are also pretty much the same age. Which means in each of these other two families, there is one child in kindergarten and two young children home most of the time (one of the moms has her middle son in nursery school with our youngest).
The kicker, for one of the moms anyway, is this: she’s got almost no one else to help her. Her family lives out of the country, and her husband is a doctor and works long hours. Her baby boy is just turning one this week. I can’t for the life of me figure it out. She’s a sweet woman, and she’s pretty even-tempered, and maybe that’s the key. Some days we find just having two children at home is challenging.
The other mom has more direct help, with her family and in-laws, and since she’s a schoolteacher she’ll be able to have her children with her at her job as they get older and she returns to work there. But it’s still no joke. She comes almost every day to pick up her middle son, and has even helped us out when we’ve had schedule-balancing to do! These are I suppose both “typical” family arrangements, where dad is out a lot working and mom is primary caregiver.
“So, dude, let me get you – these two families you mention – and there are more like them, right? – they basically have one parent watching over the kids most of the time, right?”
Yes, that’s right.
“And you and your wife both split the time with your kids, and you basically give relief to one another, so that one day is yours and the next day is hers, and that sort of thing, right?”
Um, yep.
“And you guys get frustrated and tired and upset over working and child care?”
Uhhh…. yes….
“and you think these people are crazy, right?”
Never mind.