I was brought up to believe that it is not WHAT happens to us in life that determines our happiness, but the attitude we choose to adopt around those circumstances. When it comes to divorce, separation and single parent families, we are faced with some stigma around what it all means. As parents, we can protect our children somewhat from this stigma and help them understand that divorce and single parent families do not have to be a tragedy or even signify failure.
I know that we cannot protect our kids from everything and everyone out there in the world, but we can work to bolster their self-esteem and make sure that we are not putting extra baggage on them by passing on the attitude that single parent families represent tragedy or failure on someone’s part. This is the whole mentality behind the “broken home” stigma that can be so pervasive in our society. I know that there are plenty of people out there who think that single parent families should NOT be normalized because then what would happen to the “traditional family values”–but, what about the self-esteem and the happiness factor for all these children who are growing up in single parent homes? I think they deserve to feel great and experience love and happiness regardless of whether there are two parents living in the same home or not!
We can let go of our own sense of failure over a divorce or separation, and by developing good feelings and gratitude about our family situation–we can pass that on to our children. We can also make sure that our kids have plenty of healthy examples of all sorts of family arrangements. The more diverse their personal experience of “family” is–the less likely they are to buy into someone else’s view point that anything other than one man, one woman, and 2.5 children (not to mention a cat, a dog, and a 2-car garage) is a tragic failure or “less” of a family.
Also: Why go to a Single Parents’ Group?
The Importance of Support Networks to Single Parents
Handling Those Intrusive Personal Questions