There are so many realities of single parenthood that I have become passable at over the years–one is coping with the annual parent-teacher or Parents’ Night at school. In my early years as a parent, this was one of those activities that I dreaded–after all, there were all those two-parent families smiling and sharing in their child’s accomplishments. It took me a while to get the hang of, and the confidence to maneuver such nights with pride and comfort.
The thing that used to get me is that I would beat myself up and feel guilty because my kids only had one parent in attendance. Didn’t my fabulous, special kids deserve to have a pack of parents and grandparents looking over their artwork and smiling over their neatly organized desk too? Well, of course they did but my kids never saw it that way. They were just thrilled to have ME there. The alternative would be that they didn’t have anyone at all and that would really stink!
Going solo to parent-teacher night (or band concerts or soccer games) gave me the opportunity to focus on my child (or children) and regardless of whether I was the only parent in attendance or not, my kids felt loved. Teachers were happy to see me and as I got more confident in my role as a single parent, I actually took some pride in being able to “represent” the single parent family with ease and pleasure–I liked to think that in my own small way, we were helping to put to rest that silly myth of the “broken home.”
If you absolutely cannot muster the courage to manage the teacher-parent night alone, get a friend to go with you, or if you know another single parent at the same school, you can go together and support each other–remember to keep the focus on your kids and you will find that just your being there is all that matters.
Also: Let Schools Know When Things Change