In case you’re new to the baby blog, I have been working on a series of blogs about toddler discipline. After reading this one, you might want to check out others. I welcome problems and questions in the comments section if you have specific behaviors that you’d like me to address.
I could’ve entitled this blog never let them see you scream or yell or get frustrated. I see so many parents yelling at their little children. My favorite is one mother who was speaking to her, what I would guess to be about 20 month old son: “You better start behaving appropriately or there will be severe consequences.” I could be wrong. . .maybe he was gifted and completely understood what behavior was inappropriate, what consequences were and how severe they would be if he didn’t find out how to behave appropriately.
Fess up moms. We’ve all been there. Those days when nothing is going right and our toddlers just don’t make sense. Those days when our darling little angels refuse to obey, and everything, and I do mean everything, seems to be a struggle. However, I often say that I feel like it’s these days when I’m doing the most teaching. My girls are watching my every move and despite how I might feel, if I start to argue, or yell–I’ve lost the battle.
Here are a few tricks I use to keep my cool under pressure:
My voice lowers proportionately to my frustration level. My older kids know that the more quietly I state something, the more quickly they better move! I certainly don’t threaten my kids but I figure I’d much rather use a lower voice that forces them to listen intently, then a yelling voice.
You are not working on this moment but on a lifetime of choices. When you arrive at a cross roads with your toddler, a temper tantrum or a moment in which they simply won’t obey–remember that this moment is not the end all but rather part of the process. From there–which choice will further your end goal? Yelling will never further your end goal so choose options that will help you and not hinder you.
Be specific. Toddlers are smart–but they are still toddlers. Telling them that ‘that behavior’ is not acceptable is not as good as saying, “You may not say ‘no’ to mommy.” Or “You need to stop stamping your feet.” Be specific with your consequences as well: “If you continue to refuse to walk, then I will be forced to put you in the stroller.” Practically speaking, this is a lot of words to yell. Being specific forces you to be a little more calm. But also, it treats the situation matter of factly. It’s not personal–it’s just the way the world works.
Look soon for more blogs on toddler discipline!
Related Articles:
Toddler Discipline: The Real Issue
Dealing with Toddler Back Talk
Why My Toddlers Are Not Allowed to Talk Back