I suppose if I am going to be completely clear, I should say “peer pressure, family pressure, social pressure, and child pressure.” The fact is there is so much external pressure on us in a consumer-oriented capitalist society, that it can be incredibly hard for anyone to stick to a budget or financial plan—not just a single parent. But we single parents have the added challenge of feeling like we need to compete and compare with two-parent, two-income household, or our own household economic situation prior to our becoming single parents. It takes a great deal of strength and character to remain true to a tight budget—under all this pressure.
As much as I’ve tried to teach my kids, and as much as I wish they understood the types of pressures I am under or the importance of our closely-monitored family budget—the fact is, they just don’t get it. I have had to get incredibly thick-skinned—not just with my kids, but with all those coworkers and “friends” and “dates” who can’t figure out why I don’t have unlimited income to spend on dinners out, a new car, the latest fashions, or whatever. While I used to get fairly annoyed and insulted, now I just shrug it off. They don’t get it because they don’t have to. I’m the one who has to have enough confidence and determination to look after my family and my finances and NOT get swept up by all that peer pressure. But, it took me a while and some hard-earned lessons to get here.
The fact is, it doesn’t matter how good or workable your budget looks on paper, the proof is in the pudding. As single parents, we have to be able to withstand the temptations or the complaints of our kids (I KNOW how hard this can be! Who hasn’t felt like a terrible parent because she couldn’t afford the latest technology or the cable television that they can get at “Dad and New-Step-Mom’s” house?) By keeping an eye on the long-term and not letting the external pressures get to us, we can learn how to stick to our budget, make a financial plan, and develop confidence in our financial abilities—despite all those consumerism pressures the world may be sending our way.
Also: Money, Trust and the Single Parent