We may be adding to our children feeling “different” and our isolation as a single parent family without even realizing it. Look around your world and see how many other healthy, happy, single parent families your own family interacts with? It is important for our kids to see other single parent families, and for us to help normalize our family’s existence.
Of course, all families tend to do things differently—the point is not to try to find a mirror for our own family, but to let our children experience different life-styles and see how different family configurations can be healthy and happy. If you look at television programs, books, movies, etc. you will notice that while there is an increase of single-parent families represented in popular culture, it is still very much a perpetuation of the “Brady Bunch” myth. It might take some effort for us to find books, stories, and other families who show some diversity and “look” more realistic, it is well worth it in terms of our children’s sense of self and self-esteem.
My own children have grown up in a very different world that I did. Many of their friends have divorced parents and some of these families have had a better time of things than others. What this has done for my kids is that they see that there are many different ways to “do” a family, but it has also given them appreciation for the qualities that really make a healthy family—love, commitment, responsibility, laughter, good boundaries. Seeing that these things can exist in two-parent or one-parent homes has helped them to learn what really matters and to look beyond stereotype and what popular culture and politics promote as the “ideal.”
Of course, I am not promoting a lack of parental supervision or that we as single parents make friends with any and every single parent family regardless. We still want to exercise our good judgment, but we should make sure our outer world reflects the real life we’re living.
Also: Do You Have a Vision for Your Family?
Finding Single Parent Family-Friendly Service Providers
Get People Around Your Family Who Make You Feel Supported