I was working from a café table in an airy coffee shop outside our local library and there was an incredibly active 3 year-old and her mother at a nearby table. The child reminded me a great deal of our newest family member, a rambunctious kitten named Toby as both were up, down, and all over the place—all the while wanting to make sure that they were being watched. The patient young mother answered reassuringly each time, “I see you” and “What a brave girl you are!” Perfect.
Most of us know that our children tend to vacillate between stages of needing our encouragement and support as they move out into the world, and not wanting us to watch them at all. There are those times when our “watching” gives them the added strength and courage to try new things and stand on their own two feet. Then, there are those insecure times when we get just the opposite response “Don’t look at me!” I can remember one of my daughters used to sit in the middle of the room and cover her face, telling me not to look at her when she was frustrated or disappointed about something.
As a parent, I don’t know if we can ever get the balance just right—I know my own children accuse me of looking when I shouldn’t be and not paying attention when they want me to. Eventually, I figure it will all work out. As long as I stay reasonably attentive and involved and try to keep up on what everyone is up to. After all, it gets harder as they get older, it isn’t nearly as easy as with those adventuresome and obvious 3 and 4 year-olds calling out “Look at me!” ever time they mount a swing or jump off a sidewalk…
Also: Things Tend to Move in Cycles
What About Those Kids For Whom All the World IS a Stage