Some people are more dramatic than others, and some children seem to crave attention more than others–but anyone who has more than one child knows that competing for attention can often be the name of the game. Throw in the dog, a cat or two, and a spouse or partner and it can seem like everyone wants to be the center of attention!
It wasn’t that long ago that my kids would compete with who could “sit next to mom” whenever we went anywhere. With only two sides, that meant someone was often getting left out (once they were two big for the lap). Now, my kids no longer compete for who gets to sit next to mom, but I still find myself trying to make sure everyone is getting his or her fair share of attention. It is not uncommon for me to have cats under my feet and in my lap and kids trying to tell me what they are up to or ask for permission to go out (or asking for money, have I seen their shoes, etc.). I know that my family scene is fairly typical!
Here’s a few tricks I’ve learned over the years: if I’m just getting home from being at work or out, I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, hang up my coat, etc. Otherwise, I can’t concentrate and have a tendency to be short-tempered and not make good decisions. Secondly, I invite people to help me with things–if I need to unload groceries, or straighten the living room or start dinner–I invite one or two to help me. This gives them access to me and we can get whatever needs to be done taken care of.
If the attention seeking happens at dinner or when we’re watching a movie or on a long car ride (how often is this the case!)–I’ve learned how to mix things up. It isn’t uncommon for the loudest person to dominate, or the one who is best able to create a scene or drama. I think of myself as a bit of a moderator or facilitator and try to spread the attention around–making sure to include everyone and TRYING to keep things from getting out of control.
Also: Trivia is a Fine Distracter
Expect Complaints About Chores and Rules