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When did We stop being We?

Couples face different types of challenges throughout their marriage. Parenthood is an interesting challenge for husbands and wives. One of the more difficult aspects of that challenge can happen to your husband and you don’t even realize it.

Don’t Forget Him

When a new baby comes, all of us (husbands included), focus a great deal of their energy on all the changes happening to Mom. Now, as a mom and wife myself, I’m not saying that’s wrong. But there is a trend that happens a lot during those first several months and if you don’t catch it – it will affect your marriage for years.

The trend is that new babies need so much from their mothers that it can be overwhelming for a marriage. When a wife spends so much time transitioning to mom, she may have little to no energy left her husband.

In general, husbands are an understanding lot. They support their wives, they take care of them and they give them as much support as they can. But who takes care of them?

Husbands Need TLC Too

It can be wearying to have so many demands put on a wife by a new baby. She can feel like she needs her own space. She can even supplant her husband without meaning too. It’s important to not exclude the husband from taking care of baby or ignoring him in favor of baby. He wants to help and he wants to support you, but he is facing a set of challenges he might not have been expecting.

Competing with another guy when you were dating is one thing, competing with your own child is not fun. Be sure to make sure that you and Dad don’t stop being a ‘we’ and share the triumphs and the problems. Let your husband help you, but be sure to help him. It’s about both of you and when he doesn’t feel excluded, you get the benefits of remembering being a ‘we.’

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About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.