As so many of us parents work to make sure that our children have stranger awareness, and with all the attention paid to stranger safety in schools and other programs—you would think we would be sending a very clear message to our children about strangers. But, are we? How often have you taken your child to sit on “Santa’s” lap or encouraged them to hug a mascot at a football game or parade? Do we forbid our children to talk to people while standing on line at the library, or do we encourage them to make these random social connections. Do our children really know when a stranger is a stranger?
I do think we send our kids mixed messages about strangers and probably teach them to be obsessively wary in some instances. Is everyone they don’t know a stranger? If we teach our kids to be fearful are we doing them more harm than good? And, is there a way to teach our children to be cautious without being fearful?
I know when my own children were smaller; they asked some hard questions of me like why was it alright for me to talk to clerks and strangers on the street or bus and not them? Were all strangers bad people? And, when did a stranger stop being a stranger and become someone who was okay to talk to?
Of course, children do need to learn to have healthy boundaries and be on guard in unfamiliar situations and with unfamiliar people. As parents, however, we need to make sure that we are sending clear messages that are not motivated by obsessive fear. I also think that we need to give our children the tools for evaluating situations and people, and still teach them to be courteous, kind, and optimistic too.
Also: Help Your Child to NOT Look Like a Victim
Teach Your Child How to Talk to Strangers