We want our children to take on our values and we might even be secretly hoping that they might inherit some of our “better points”–but children also have a way of showing us the less savory sides of ourselves. We can pass on all sorts of things–values, personality traits, and belief systems without really intending too. If we tend to be critical and negative about people and things that happen–we could be ensuring that our children will also be negative and critical.
It can take some hard self-evaluation to identify if we are being openly critical and negative. Do you critique people you see in public for the way they are dressed or how they where their hair? Do you make judgments about people based on the way they talk, how they act, or the part of town they live in? Do you tend to see what is going wrong in a situation instead of what is going well? You might be surprised how the most casual and seemingly harmless comments can sink in to our impressionable kids.
It can take some effort to catch ourselves and retrain our comments, but it could really pay off in the character of our child. If all our kids hear is negativity, anxiety and criticism of other people–how will they learn any other way of evaluating or taking in the world around them? All is not lost, however, if you are someone who tends to be negative and critical–you can retrain your reaction to the world around you. You might find that attempting to say positive things or at least refraining from making critical comments in front of your kids to be hard at first, but over time, with practice, it does become easier. You might even find that you feel better about yourself just by letting go of some of that criticism and negativity. Meanwhile, your child will be learning a more positive way of looking at the world.
Also: Children Can Learn to be Kind
What is Happening to Common Kindness?