I love family projects—whether it is cookie baking, cleaning out the closets, or other ambitious undertakings, I really do enjoy (for the most part) doing projects with my kids. The truth is, however, it doesn’t always go well and we have had some major implosions over the years when it came to attempting to do family projects. I’ve learned that there are certain things we just can’t do together and that there are certain “arrangements” that work better than others…
When my children were little, I used to try to coordinate big group projects for the holidays—jack-o-lantern carving, group cookie-baking, going out into the woods to find and cut down a Christmas tree. While I still do two out of three of those things, I’ve learned that working in smaller groups is better than trying to manage all four of us at once. I confess that I gave up on the Christmas tree hunt—it never went well. Trying to find something that four strong-willed people could agree upon was more of a challenge than we could handle. Since purchasing the stunning 7-foot artificial tree a few years ago, our holiday decorating has become a much more pleasant and peaceful project.
As my children have gotten older, it has been through some of our projects that I have realized just how mature and capable they were becoming. Not to mention, it gives us the chance to interact on a “partnership” level instead of a mom and child level. Recently, one of my daughters and I were working on expanding and repairing some of the pieces of our extensive “holiday village” and as she was working on making repairs to the electric train—I was impressed by how much she knew about electricity and mechanics. We became problem-solving partners working side-by-side, instead of being stuck in the mother-daughter dynamic.
I think the keys to making the most of family projects are to make sure everyone gets to define his or her own participation AND to try to stay focused on the “process” and not get too hung up on what you are trying to create or accomplish.
Also: Making Changes With or Without Your Family
Shake Things Up with a Day of Nonverbal Communication