I know that the choice for the mother to stay at home or to go to work is an individual one. Each couple needs to decide together what their families needs are, and only they know what circumstances they are facing. As I write this blog, I am not judging anyone, but simply writing about how I came to make my choice and how it has affected my family.
Staying at home with my kids was not something that I planned on doing. Growing up I thought that being a mother was the most boring job in the world. I could tell that mothers had a thankless job, with no appreciation, no satisfaction, and very little recognition. It was simply not something I planned on doing. It’s funny how much things can change.
I think my opinion started to change when I started going to college. When it came time for Rob and I to start our family, I knew that I needed to be home with my family. It hasn’t been easy. I’m not going to lie about it. I had to adjust to spending my time with an infant. I got to read a lot that first year. I’m having more fun as they keep getting older. I missed the time I spent interacting with other adults. And we really did miss my paycheck.
We were fortunate enough to have not incurred any student loan debt with our under grad degrees. By the time my oldest came, we had paid off both of our cars. We didn’t have money for a lot of the extras. I still get most of my children’s clothes second hand. I learned how to stretch the grocery money. For awhile we were eating on about thirty dollars a week (which is less than what I spent on myself in college.) We don’t have cable, or a nice big TV, or great furniture (the kids will tear it up anyway—so at least I don’t have to worry.)
Even though we’ve given a lot up, we are gaining so much. I love the feeling of my children’s arms around me. I know that they are learning the values that we want them to. The most formative years for a child are the first three. I want to be the one who teaches them. I want to see my child’s first step, and to kiss his boo boos. I want to make sure that the gospel is a central part of each and every day.
I am grateful that my husband is also willing to sacrifice so that I can be at home with the family. I try to make our home a happy place to be so that he and my children will always want to be here. I am grateful that I don’t have to juggle everything the way that women who work do. I honestly don’t know how they do it. I know I would be exhausted all the time.
Our choice was the right one for our family. It is the best thing that I can give my children. They don’t need a lot of toys or name brand clothes. They just need love.