When we hear stories of children from single parent families getting into trouble, it is often NOT exclusively because they have one parent in the home, but there are generally other issues going on that might have been more likely to be noticed if there were two attentive parents. Other issues pop up and there may be gaps or a void. I subscribe to the opinion that if there is a void, a child will look for something to fill it…
I don’t mean to say that we should strive to live perfect, ever-busy lives–but if there are big gaps in a child’s life, questions unanswered, or emotions and issues that don’t get tended to, then he or she is likely to go looking for something to fill that void. For example, if you never talk about your spiritual values or beliefs with your child, or give him some idea of what philosophies you subscribe to and give him a way to explore and get his questions answered, he will likely go elsewhere looking for answers to his inevitable questions.
Single parents often worry that there will be a gender imbalance in the home that is inherent to only having one parent. There can be, but there doesn’t have to be. By providing plenty of trusted adults and mentors of both genders–family members, friends, etc. and making sure the child is exposed to a well-balanced variety of individuals–you can keep this gap or void from being an issue–or at least do your best to keep this from being in issue.
Instead of expecting and accepting that there will be big things missing from your child’s life, you can make an effort to head problems off before they get started, just by looking for places where there might be a void, and working to create a positive, enveloping home and family situation to fill it.
Also: Keep an Eye Out for Possible Problems