Priorities change–not just for children, but for us adults too. It has been interesting for me to watch over the years as my children’s priorities have not only changed, but they have gradually developed morals and ethics and their priorities have started to deepen.
Typically, there were times when I was convinced each of my children was never going to “get their priorities straight!” Of course, I was often expecting too much and projecting all sorts of concerns and worries onto my children when their priorities were absolutely appropriate for whatever age they happened to be. I think we parents have a tendency to expect our children to have more developed senses of priorities that are really age-appropriate. It can take time for empathy and compassion and all those less self-absorbed concerns to develop and emerge. Meanwhile, we worry that our children will either have no conscious or that they will never get priorities that make sense to us.
Over time, however, priorities change–children stop being so concerned with they toys they own or the clothes they wear. With a little guidance and encouragement, they can gradually become less peer-centered and start to think about life on a much larger scale. As they develop caring relationships and realize that there are all sorts of things that matter more than small concerns, their priorities will shift. I think this is seldom because we parents bark and yell at them and try to force the process–I think they just naturally grow and evolve and their priorities change and evolve along with them. While we may be facilitators and models and provide some guidance and direction, a great deal of it is just part of the natural growing-up process. Trust me–there have been times when I was convinced my children were just never going to “get it” and then, over time, they have evolved and I can watch as those priorities change!
Also: They Have to Learn to Make Decisions
Helping Kids with Goal-Setting