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Can’t We Ever Have Anything Nice?

You know how there are things you say so often that they become part of the family lore? Your words become ensconced in the family vernacular and you hear them parroted back at you by your children—either in jest or just because it becomes the way the family speaks. My children like to tease me for one of my phrases that I have been saying so long it has become the pat response to messes and chaos… “Can’t we EVER have anything nice?!”

I tend to keep a fairly neat house and I love to have things clean, fresh and nicely decorated. Now, in reality, all of the living and chaos that goes on in my house, and has gone on for the past two decades is not always compatible with having things clean, fresh and nicely decorated. It has always been that as soon as I got new furniture, or had the carpets cleaned, or put out a glistening and full crystal candy dish—something went awry. A big spill, cats scratching their sharp claws on the back of the new sofa, or smudgy fingerprints all over the crystal is the typical response. It never fails. As my kids have gotten older, I have erroneously assumed that it would be easier to keep things nice. There is just always something that gets in the way and that something usually elicits the same response from me: “Can’t we EVER have anything nice?”

The truth is, there is always a kitten leaping from the love seat to the Christmas tree, or two rambunctious teenage boys tossing a ball in my living room, or a scented candle dripping on the bookcase. It is pretty much a given that as soon as I have cleaned the carpet and rugs, one of the cats will get sick in the middle of the floor. And, as each inevitable mishap unfolds in constant succession, I continue my unending battle to have a lovely home and pleasant surroundings. We now also greet each of these mishaps with the sometimes exasperated and sometimes whimsical, “Can’t we ever have anything nice?”

Also: “I Thought You Were Everybody’s Mother”

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