As parents, especially parents of young kids, we have a tendency to think that we know what’s best for our kids. If we are cold, we figure they have to be cold also and we dress them accordingly. The reverse is true. If we’re hot they can’t possibly be cold.
I have this one nagging habit that I know Tyler probably hates. Sometimes, when we go out to eat I will veto his food choices because I feel confident that he won’t eat it. Yesterday for instance, it was his birthday and he and his father and I went out to eat. Now, right off the bat I decided where we were going to eat. Initially, we were going to eat in the restaurant at the hotel but they are closed on Mondays. My second choice was a restaurant that I loved which ended up also being closed on Mondays. “Chuck E. Cheese,” chanted Tyler. I vetoed his choice on his birthday. I felt like a bad mama but I hate Chuck E. Cheese so I coaxed him into going to another one of my favorite restaurants. I lured him with the promise of yet another birthday present. I told him that if we went to the other restaurant we could stop at the mall , which was on the way, and he could get something.
When we arrived at the restaurant I decided what he would have based on what I felt he would eat. Of course, we ended up taking his entire meal home because he didn’t eat any of it. He filled up on the fried mushroom appetizers and ate a little sample of his father’s food and then he was too full to eat his dinner. Which he never wanted to begin with. Now, had I allowed him to make his own selection he probably would have eaten it all!
Sometimes we don’t know what’s best for our kids when it comes to personal choices. That’s the lesson I am learning. As long as our kids aren’t in imminent danger we should allow them to make their own choices. Sometimes older does not equal wiser.
See also:
Letting Kids Decorate Their Way
They Have to Learn to Make Decisions