When I am tempted to get snarky and bitter or say something about my children’s father that I may regret, I ask myself a simple question: How do I want my children to remember me as a parent? While I understand that I cannot control everything and certainly will not be able to dictate how my kids think of me years from now, I can make personal choices now that may cause them to remember me with fondness and respect.
It is easy to get caught up in the moment and say whatever comes to mind. Not to mention, we are all flawed human beings and perfection is completely out of the question. When I try to keep in mind, however, that what I say and do today may come back to haunt me five or ten years down the road, I tend to make better parenting and personal decisions. I have surely made my fair share of mistakes as a single parent. I can only hope that I have learned from them and am making better decisions now than I did, say, five or six years ago. I would like my kids to look back on their single mother with appreciation and respect—even if they do remember some of my mistakes and flaws too.
So, when you look at your life now as a single parent, what sort of actions and choices are you making that may pay off either positively or negatively down the road? How will your child or children remember you when they look back on this stage or phase in their lives? It is never too late to make changes and make adjustments to our parenting and personal behavior so that we are acting in a way that we would like to, and in a way that will cause our children to remember us closer to how we would LIKE to be remembered.
Also: Do You Demand Respect? Or Tolerate Some Back Talk?
Is it Better to Say Nothing at All About the Other Parent?