The holiday season can bring out the best in people—and it can also bring out the worst. In single parent families, there can be all sorts of additional stress and strain that can bring on cranky reactions and short tempers (in both our children and us). Anticipating the possibility of those short-tempers and learning to recognize the triggers can help to eliminate some of the tantrums and outbursts that can happen this time of year.
Too much stimulation and visiting can be a trigger for many children. Even if it is exciting and wonderful to connect with people who haven’t been seen in an entire year—it can be hard on kids to have to negotiate that many people. After a divorce, separation or death, the holidays can seem different and stressful anyway and people might be acting differently. This can be tough for a child to maneuver.
Exhaustion, poor eating (too much sugar and too many sweets) or getting “off schedule” can also bring about the temper tantrums and outbursts. Even the most mild-mannered kids can succumb to exhaustion, overstimulation and low blood sugar.
I have found it helps to have an exit strategy and not get roped into more than we can handle. I have also had to learn to expect some “re-entry” tempers when my kids get ready to leave or come back from the other side of the family. Even if they love all the activities and attention, just making the shift between two family cultures during the hectic holidays can put a great deal of strain on a child. Giving them space and time to decompress and be a bit grumpy upon re-entry can help them to work through those issues without added pressure. This is where a parent’s understanding and patience can really be important.
Also: When Your Kids Go to the “Other House” for the Holidays