Life changes us, I don’t care what some people say. I have a friend who maintains that people do not really change and that we just keep working on the same issues over and over again. That might be true for some people, but I think that parenthood, and especially single parenthood has changed me in all sorts of ways. There are some people, ideas, and “things” that I just cannot relate to anymore…
Of course, there are plenty of people in my life who either knew me as a young pre-parent adult, or have only known me as a single parent so their ideas of who I am and what I stand for are skewed by those associations. I, however, can look back and see all these different versions of myself and acknowledge that my pre-parent self, my young, coupled parent self, and my single parent, post-forty self are all quite different. From priorities, to interests and even my sense of humor. Things have definitely morphed and changed!
So when childless people talk about long skiing weekends, three-week tropical trips, or going out to bars, or trying to decide whether to buy the white carpet or the expensive beige one; I just can’t relate. When friends from two-income households talk about buying the vacation home or going away to the “cabin” for the holiday “season”–I also can’t relate. We might all be the same approximate age and moving in the same socio-economic world (sort-of)–but our life experiences are rather different. I love the diversity and it is good for me to have the various perspectives, but the truth is–I have a hard time masking the glazed-over, perplexed look on my face just as I’m sure some of them cannot understand why on earth I am eager to stay home with my kids on a weekend, or why I just don’t eat at certain restaurants or find time for weekly wine tastings. Surely they must often have a hard time relating to me and my life too!
Also: Identify Strengths
Staying Open–When We’re Tempted to do Just the Opposite