Let’s face it, we all make mistakes, and most of us learn from our mistakes and our able to grow and learn and “do better next time.” Some of us have children, however, who tend to make A LOT of mistakes, or it takes them a while to learn from the stumbles and mistakes they do make. As a parent, it can be hard to remain trusting and optimistic when our kids have such a hard time–but it is important we do. Otherwise, we may actually keep them from being able to stand on their own.
The thing is, it can actually FEEL like the compassionate, parental thing to do to try to protect our child from making more mistakes. If we have a child who tends to take risks, make mistakes and then call out for us to help put the pieces back together, we might find that we get to a place where we want to keep them from making more mistakes. Instead of encouraging them to continue taking risks or helping them learn how to be more “calculated” in their attempts, we may be holding them back in order to protect and shelter them (and us). This can keep our kids from being able to fully develop into all that they can be.
It’s tough, I know–who wants to watch their child stumble, fall, fail, etc.? ESPECIALLY when it seems like they are NOT learning from the mistakes they have already made. The truth is, however, that they are learning–it just may take a while and they need us to continue to believe in them and remain optimistic that they will eventually “get it”, they will be able to handle increasing responsibility and challenges, and that they will succeed eventually even if there have been a dozen missteps and stumbles. As parents, we need to do a gut-check and make sure that we aren’t sending the message that we do NOT think they can make it and that we are trying to hold them back from making more mistakes. Sometimes, it just takes a while!
Also: Older Kids Need to Hear You’re Proud of Them Too