Do you ever worry that your own problems with anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues may be affecting your children?
If you do, you have good reason to.
In 2004, a study was done of 822 children between the ages of three and 12 who lived with both parents. The researchers found that, when both parents reported symptoms of anxiety and depression, their children had more problems with behaviors like abrupt mood changes, cheating, lying, disobedience, bullying, stubbornness, impulsiveness and a bad temper.
They also found that, if only the mother had anxiety and depression but the father didn’t, then the children were significantly less likely to have behavior problems.
It’s easy to see what this means when there’s only one parent in the home and that parent is dealing with mental health issues.
A July 2004 report from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP), entitled “Children of Parents with Mental Illness,” reaches similar conclusions.
In addition, the AACAP notes that “The risk (that the child may develop mental illness) is particularly strong when a parent has one or more of the following: bipolar disorder; an anxiety disorder; ADHD; schizophrenia; alcoholism or other drug abuse; or depression.” That’s because there’s generally believed to be a genetic component to these conditions – that is, they tend to run in families.
Factors that can decrease the children’s risk include things like a stable home environment, help and support from family members, positive self-esteem, and a strong relationship with a healthy adult: conditions that may be more difficult to achieve in a single parent home, especially if the single parent is suffering from mental illness.
So if we’re struggling with our own short- or long-term mental health challenges, what can we do to protect our kids from developing their own difficulties?
The AACAP recommends that the mental health professionals from whom we’re seeking treatment (this assumes that we’re seeking treatment!) question us about our kids’ mental health and emotional development. Family therapy may be a way to teach both parent and child(ren) ways to reduce the possible effects of the parent’s illness on the child(ren).
In conclusion, the AACAP states that “Unfortunately, families, professionals, and society often pay most attention to the mentally ill parent and ignore the children in the family. Providing more attention and support to the children of a psychiatrically ill parent is an important consideration when treating the parent.”
Here’s the bottom line for single parents: if you’re suffering from anxiety, depression and/or another mental health disorder, don’t try to tough it out. Get help for yourself before your problems cause problems for your kids too.