I wrote yesterday while pondering just how much a single parent can cram into his or her brain without having the benefit of writing it down. The flip side of this is that the truth is—we CANNOT cram it all into our brains. I know with my children, I can remember telling them when they were younger that they were going to have to manage some of their own things because there was no way that I could “think for all four of us!”
I can actually recall one day one of my daughters saying to me: “Mom, I know you can’t think for all of us, but can you help me remember where I put my soccer shoes?” It was one of those “out of the mouths of babes” moments when I realized that I definitely had a few slogans I used on a regular basis and that was one of them!
I do think that there are some expectations and responsibilities that tend to fall on the children of single parents and one of them is that with only one parent, it is often impossible for that parent to know what is going on with everyone in the family all the time. I don’t imagine that those who are part of two-parent families can do that either but you at least have two heads to put together (“two heads are better than one”). What I decided to do in my single parent family was try to stress the “four heads are better than one” philosophy.
To be honest, it didn’t take long before my children realized that if they reminded me and helped out with the family thinking, things went smoother anyway—while I fancied myself to be reasonably organized, there was just no way I could problem-solve, remember little details, and think on the fly with great skill and cunning ALL the time—I needed a little help. Meanwhile, my children got the benefit of learning problem-solving, higher-level thinking, and self-esteem that comes with getting to help keep things running in a bustling family!