I try to be hip, I really do try to understand where my teenagers are coming from and maintain a sense of humor, a sense of balance, and some sort of detached curiosity–but the truth is, there are those times when no matter how hard I try to be hip and understanding, I really don’t get it…
Sometimes, I admit I am absolutely horrified and petrified at the things my teens say and do–no matter how relaxed and savvy I try to be, there are jokes I don’t get, actions that seem so strange and foreign to me and I really cannot help but worry and panic that the past two decades have been for naught. After all, we work so hard to do our very best as parents in hopes of turning out good citizens and caring individuals and then we look in the face of our fifteen or sixteen year-old after he or she has just said or done something disturbing and it is very hard not to have a panic attack and think that it has been a waste of time! My goodness, who is this person and where did I go wrong?!
I try to reassure myself, just as I would someone else, that all these feelings are completely normal and natural–they are still works in progress and are not quite finished “cooking” yet. There’s still time, I hope, there’s still time! I am not supposed to understand and appreciate everything that the teenager does, that would be counterproductive to the process. Instead, I just need to acknowledge that I no longer have the sense of humor of a sixteen-year-old; nor do I have the same value system or sense of the world that seemed so obvious to me twenty-five years ago. I remind myself to breathe, relax, and tell myself that they really don’t usually “get me” either.
Also: You May Have to Tolerate a Bad Attitude
I Say One Thing, But They Hear Another