The truth with parenting (as with other relationships, I think) is that communication can be major. So much so, in fact, that I think if we master some basic, important communication skills it can go a long way in helping us establish strong relationships and bonds with our children, and help us get through some pretty sticky parent-child situations. One thing that I have learned is that if I have something important to say I should say it simply and quickly. My kids might turn in for the first sentence, but then they are very likely to just tune me out…
For those of us who have learned how to be more discreet or to wrap our requests up with other comments, it might take some practice to learn how to communicate clearly and get our requests and/or important comments out in one initial statement. We may want to be polite and conversational, only to discover that too many extra words makes for a wasted conversation with a child. Instead, we can still be polite, but we need to be simple and direct from the onset if we want to make sure we are heard and understood.
For example, instead of saying: “How was your day today? Mine was good and I was thinking on the way home that I really needed you to gather your dirty clothes so we can do laundry tonight, so could you do that for me?” which just might get you a “What do you want me to do?” (if it gets a response at all), saying “Hi. Could you please gather your dirty laundry for me in the next ten minutes so we can do laundry?” before you get into the pleasantries and conversations will be more effective.
Getting out what you need or want to happen if you are making a request, issuing a reminder, or making an important statement is important. And, getting it out in a clear, concise, and simple way UP FRONT is important too.
Also: Communication Breakdown? It Might Be That You Are Too Much Alike
Improving Communication Through Parent-Child Contracts