Many of us have known children (quite possibly our own) who have a temporary problem with biting as frustrated toddlers, but pinching can also be a problem that parents have a hard time figuring out how to curb. A sign or aggression, pinching can pop up unexpectedly and is more common to younger children—toddlers and preschool age, but can be found in early elementary-aged kids as well. What can you do as a parent to put an end to pinching behaviors?
Whether your child is pinching as a means of retaliation or is the one using pinching as aggressive behavior toward other children (and adults) without provocation, it is still a problem that needs to be addressed. In the good old days, parents might have been told to “pinch the child back” in order to give him or her taste of how it feels. Treating violent behavior with more violent behavior is not the answer, however. Instead, children who pinch should be removed from the situation immediately and put into a time out. I think we also need to explain to them what is going on and why it is not okay. Some children really have a hard time empathizing and have just learned that pinching is a way of defending their turf, getting people to do what they want, expressing frustration, etc. By saying something like “Pinching is not acceptable. It causes pain and hurts. I am not going to allow you to hurt other people” we are being firm and explaining that the behavior is both painful and unacceptable.
I have also found that children who pinch (or hit or bite) need to be kept away from other children or the social scene for a while. Even if they only have a short time out, I do think they need to lose the privilege of getting to play with others and play with whatever items they may have been “pinching over.” I think this sends a message that pinching is antisocial behavior and not allowed in the group setting.
Any other ideas for how to cope with pinching and nip it in the bud before it takes over a child’s behaviors?
Also: Physical Bullying in Schools
Biting–The Whys and How to Deal with It