Question: I want to teach my child responsibility and feel its important that she has chores and allowance. She will be turning 2 in a month. Do you have any suggestions?
Whoa nelly! Take a deep breath and repeat this sentence: She will be turning 2 in a month. She is still, technically, 1.
I have written in forums before how we start our children quite young on doing chores. Yes, my twins who are about 32 months, have to help clean up. Certainly teaching your child to help and be responsible with his things is never a bad idea and I do tend to think that the younger you start the better. However, it is necessary to parent with developmental appropriateness and both “official” chores and allowance are things that are better held off for awhile.
Developmentally Appropriate Work
The only ‘requirement’ that my youngest children are obligated to perform is to put away their own toys. I help them do it and coach them along the way. Be assured that I could do it on my own in less than half the time it takes them. But it’s a learning process and it’s important for them to learn to take care of their own things.
I tend to think in terms of three general rules in terms of having toddlers do work around the house. The first is that they are by my side. Watching mommy do the bathtub, or sweep the floor sends the message that these are to be kept clean. It is learning all the same. The second rule is that we all take care of our own things. No one gets paid for taking care of their own things. It’s just expected. And thirdly, I assume that anything that they want to do, like dusting the bottom shelf, will require my direct supervision and help. Even picking up a dumbed tub of mega blocks, requires my direct supervision. These are not chores but opportunities to learn. Toddlers, are simply to young to start assigning chores to.
Allowance
I agree that teaching money skills are very important. I also tend to think that they learn about how to handle money by handling money. However, in order for them to learn to handle money they first need to know the difference between a quarter, a nickel, a dime, and a penny. I can almost guarantee you that your child thinks that 5 pennies are worth more than 1 quarter. . .simply because there are more of them.
I would also caution you against paying your child every time he lifts his hand to work. Putting his own things away doesn’t merit pay. It should simply be a requirement of living in the household. You don’t want your child to expect to get paid for everything and if you start this early, in this manner–he just might. You will be much better off enjoying this time with your child encouraging him to just take care of his own things.
Related Articles:
Developmental Milestones and When You Should Worry
Your Cranky Baby Might Be an Einstein