Surely you have heard the saying “If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.” I think whoever came up with that chestnut was definitely talking about children! There may be that one day when we are just too tired to say “no” or we give in and let them eat their sandwiches in the living room and suddenly, we’ve got a “situation” on our hands. While we cannot be expected to be robots or machines as parents, there may be those times when we are accidentally setting a precedent.
It may sound pessimistic, but over the years I’ve learned to ask myself “What is the worst that could happen if I give in here?” Sometimes, the worst is something I can totally imagine myself being able to deal with while other times, I decide I am not willing to take the risk and have to “un do” the damage I do by giving in.
For example, say you have a “no food in the car” rule (I do not actually know any parents of young children these days that do not allow food in the car, but let’s just pretend) and on one particularly hectic morning—you let your kids bring their toast and peanut butter in the car. Can you really make it a one-time only thing—or will your children soon be reminding you that you “let us eat our breakfast that one day!” Plus, giving in once makes it easier and easier to give in again and again.
Sometimes, giving in is just the inevitable progress of family life and you cannot hold back the tides of change (and mess, chaos, etc.) forever—other times, it is better to hold firm in order to keep things consistent and not give them that inch they can stretch into a mile!
Also: Why Force It?