One of my resolutions for ‘08 was to emphasize the positives of marriage. My thinking was that if we have good examples to follow, we’ll have guides to help strengthen our own relationships.
That said, I’d like to introduce you to my fellow blogger, Tristi Pinkston. Tristi is a Senior Blogger who covers Media, Movie Reviews, and LDS and has been married to her husband twelve and a half years.
I asked if she’d be game for an interview because she’s a very witty, wise woman who always has sage advice. In other words, she’s primo role model material.
I hope you enjoy her answers –and learn a little from them– like I did.
Courtney Mroch: You have 4 kids, a husband, you write, and also have your own business. How the heck do you balance it all? Do you get a lot of help from your husband?
Tristi Pinkston: My husband is very supportive. He doesn’t mind too much if dinner’s not on the table — he’s pretty good about poking around in the kitchen to find something to eat. He also plays with the kids in the evenings and will take them on walks, to the playground, to the store — he’s really been great.
As far as keeping balance, I do struggle with that. When I have a deadline looming, I tend to want to immerse myself in whatever project is pressing me, but the more I put the family first, the more success I have with other things.
Now, notice I said “putting the family first.” That means the people, not the housework. I don’t put near the emphasis on housework like I ought to, as anyone who drops by unexpectedly will tell you.
CM: I’m in that boat with you! Now let me ask you, conflicts inevitably happen in any relationship. How do you and your husband work through yours?
TP: Well, it goes like this. I’ll rant and rave at him, and he’ll take it meekly and humbly. Then I’ll get to thinking about it, realize I really was a dope, and apologize, which he takes with much good humor. We weren’t always this way — we used to fight more and it was harder to find resolution, but the longer we’re together and the more we mature, we find that our fights have shifted. Notice I’m still ranting and raving, though — hopefully it won’t take me too much longer to outgrow that.
CM: How does your faith play into (a) your marriage and (b) your conflict resolution style?
TP: Our faith is everything. We’re LDS, and we believe that if we stay true to each other and the promises we’ve made to each other and to the Lord, we’ll be married forever. This puts a whole new spin on things. We’re more anxious to work things out because we believe that we can be together forever (and who wants to be together forever with someone you’re mad at?)
As far as our conflicts go, we try to resolve them with love and patience. We believe that God has given us a pattern for behavior and we try to follow it. My husband does rather well from the get-go, and once I’ve got my ranting out of the way, I try to follow suit. He’s the more calm one, definitely.
CM: What’s the happiest memory you and your husband have created thus far in your marriage?
Let’s see — the births of our children, definitely. That’s sort of a free question, though, I’m sure everyone says that. We’ve had fun going on creative dates, going to the library and reading each other children’s books. We like doing things that remind us of all the reasons why we fell in love in the first place. I like to think back on the proposal, on our wedding day, on moving in to our first apartment, and moving in to the first house we bought together. There are so many, and I know we’ll make many more in years to come.
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Photo credit: Provided by Tristi Pinkston and used with her permission.