I am sure you have heard people say things like: “My job is my life” or “My children are my whole life.” While in most cases, I think they are just trying to stress how important and strongly committed they are to their job, spouse, kids, cats, etc. I think there really are strong reasons NOT to make one thing one’s entire reason for living…
I have made no bones about the fact that I am a dedicated mom–I LOVE being a mother and it is a central, grounding reality to my life and it has been for nearly two decades (and I expect it to continue), but even with all of this, I know that I cannot say that my kids are my WHOLE LIFE. They are not, there are sides of me that are not satisfied with motherhood and I have learned over the years that the more well-rounded I attempt to be, the more sides and parts to myself that I let see the light of day, and the less I attach all of my identity to one thing, the better mother I am, and the more resilient and happy I am as well.
My kids and family may come first on my list of external priorities, but by having other passions and interests, including one’s personal development, I think a person can be healthier. My children have changed over the years and while they still need me, it is not in the same way. The day is going to come when I might go days without talking to one of my grown children, and then what? The same goes for those who make a job or career their “WHOLE” life–what happens when things change? By having a full and diverse life, one can be less likely to be upended when things get rough.
Also: the Change and Development of Priorities
Where Does “Social Life” Rank in Your Priorities?